In Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, a phoenix is an immortal, magical bird which periodically burst into flames and emerge in the ashes as a chick. They can also carry heavy loads, be immune on even basilisk stares or the killing curse, heal those in the brink of death, and phoenix songs can make a person courageous and strike fear on the hearts of evil persons. Every time a phoenix is reborn, its lifespan gets longer- with periodic immolation and being immune in just about everything, a phoenix becomes technically immortal.
Just like a phoenix bird, i burst into flames with my past and emerge from them being reborn as a new person. My old blog “The Symphony of Life“, chronicles the last year of my highschool life up to my second year of college, used mostly as a personal avenue of bitterness yet also holds valuable(and rather funny) reminders of the past. Reading my old posts again made me get the impression of myself as Eminem, a very distinct artist who lets his bitterness and gags expressed in deviant ways. Even if he’s in a genre almost monopolized and defined by African-Americans, he still presents his music that way and it worked so well with him. The things i write in my own blog are the kind of things you would read instead in a diary, but still i wrote some part of my life along online and in a blog- including those matters which most will never find understanding on.
Since i recently had another new, fresh and precious chance of following my dreams again- this time without the bitterness of being tied to much limitations- i realized that this may be the time i should completely let go of my past bitterness and forgive those who let me down throughout the years to be able to move on, hold the hands of those who care, and look forward in what the future may bring. Every start of something new is another chance to make your life better, to forgive those who made you miserable, and be happy once again.
Im not really sure how the bitterness i carried for years eventually begins to subside, but im sure it started out somewhere i never truly expect would come from. And i can surely say that certain person has manifested the beginning of a change that will come along into my life.
Weeks before our finals week last semester, my boyfriend noticed how intense my anger was for my first love. My first love, who made a bulk of my bottled bitterness in the last two years. It turned out that even if i don’t think much of him anymore, i was still angry with the bitterness my first love left me and the reason why is because i havent forgiven him yet. My boyfriend taught me to forgive is the first step in rendering all your bitterness void. But in order to forgive, you must understand those who have hurt you. Understanding takes much effort but it unburdens you once you achieve it. And so, i resolved myself to finally forgive him, since both of us are already living in lives completely separate from one another- as if we never existed in our respective lives, the pain of heartbroken-ness is gone, and if it weren’t for him, i wouldn’t reach this point and find this wonderful person who would vow to follow, guide and guard me; will be with me in good or bad times, connected in thought, feelings and heart. Mercy and love finally set me free.
After two years of bottled misery, just about everything which keeps me down disappeared or finally broke free. This is a start of a new beginning, a new life and a new future to hold on into. But whatever i’ll face later on, i’ll be ready to take them. I’ll also never forget to enjoy and love the blessing which i have and eventually come, because keeping them in mind will make an optimistic mindset and therefore less bitterness.
I rise from the ashes, and a new life begins.